Sunday, May 31, 2009

Life Frustrations

I'm getting frustrated with myself.

Last week I filled out a facebook "make-your-own quiz" about myself (as many of my other friends had done). While I could think of a few things that were interesting (I was born in Hawaii, I kicked David a few weeks ago, etc), at least half my questions were geek-related. ("At what age did I see Star Wars?" "Which of these types of sci-fi apocalypses am I most concerned about?")

That really, really bothers me. It means that I've actually come to define myself based on what geek franchises I've become interested in. Back in high school, I was "the Superman geek" because I wore a Superman T-shirt (that didn't even really look good on me) every third time I left the house. Now I don't really do that. Ever.

I can carry a conversation about virtually anything. Politics, economics, literary analysis, etc. However, sci-fi and fantasy seem to be my "default" thing.

I often worry both that I spend too much time in the sci-fi realm and that others will see me only on that surface level. I've been blessed with rather insightful friends, however, so it's not all bad.

Still, though. It's frustrating to me. I want to be a writer (since that's evidently what I'm extremely gifted at), but I could end up being the next Stephen King or end up making no money at all. I need to be able to support myself and my family, so this is a bit of a dilemma. If I can't get to the point where I'm self-sufficient and ready to support a family, then I'm not going to marry the as-of-yet unknown love of my life (which is what I want more than anything else in the world).

Oh well.


  1. Doesn't it feel awesome when you find out people actually read your blog? *sighs dreamily* Lol!

  2. And thanks for commenting on Carpe Noctem! :)