I have a dilemma.
I feel like school doesn't matter.
It's weird, but I feel like I should be doing things that matter. Slaying dragons, fighting hordes of goblins, firing torpedoes down the exhaust port of the Death Star, etc. Those are fantastical things, of course, but the point stands.
It's easy for me to understand why the big life-or-death things matter. Somehow, though, I can't seem to comprehend why school is important. I know why it's important, of course. But I don't feel it. I don't have that drive to succeed in school. The irony is that I technically have the ability to be the perfect student. Seriously; I have the absolute best personality type for being a student, and I've got more than enough mental ability to take whatever the school system can throw at me. Despite that, however, I have no motivation for it. All I've got are vague promises that "one day it'll pay off," and that I'm "building my future."
I also realize that by ignoring school, I'm essentially dooming my hopes and dreams. And, probably most disturbingly, that doesn't bother me nearly as much as it should. I guess in a weird way, my hope has faded considerably over the past few years. I've still got hope, but apparently not enough faith and will to carry it through.
No one needs me; there's no princess who'll be doomed if I don't do the right thing. The only person that'll be hurt (other than emotionally, of course) by my failure is me. And I'm beginning to care less and less.
I don't know what to do. I want to be the person who can stand up and make the right choices, but I feel like I don't have any real reason to.
I don't have a cause to fight for, and it's driving me insane.