Womens'-Only Gym

This was a conversation that Angela and I had.


Angela
I'm thinking about going to like a Fitness For Her kind of place.
like a woman's place.

Aaron
eww
Do they have, like, people there to constantly tell you that you're pretty, and not fat?
Or to listen to all your problems, without offering to fix any of them?

Angela
No. It's just that there's no men allowed.
No men to bother you or make you feel bad or anything.

Aaron
Do they weaken the upper arm workout machines without telling you, so you feel better about yourself?

Angela
You can't weaken steel weights. XD

Aaron
You can re-number them
Do they have secret rooms you can go to secretly eat chocolate when no one's looking?
Do the TVs only play the Lifetime and WE channels?
(and the new Oprah channel)

Angela
You're making it sound lame.

Aaron
Do they have an entire room dedicated just to Twilight moms and their creepy obsessions with teenage boys?

Angela
No. xD It's just excludes men. Men can't come in, stink up the place, show off all their muscle and mad skeel, and hog the gym. Women, even bitchy skinny women, aren't so pretentious as some muscle-men are.

Aaron
Do they have extra toilets in the bathrooms, just for bulimics?
Do the steamrooms have, like, model runways in them?

Angela
That would be awesome and you know it! XD

Aaron
That would be amazing.

Angela
lolz
I really wanna take yoga.

Aaron
I bet they teach that at the womens'-only gym

Angela
Right

Aaron
along with classes on self-empowerment, believing in yourself, and self-confidence.

Angela
Aw man. Women aren't that weak.
And isn't that all the same thing? o.O

Aaron
Well, yeah. That's how they make so much money.
They just make you take the same class three times.
They also have a class titled "You Don't Need a Man to Complete You"

Angela
xD

Aaron
Though, oddly enough, directly following that is a class on Twilight, and its deep and powerful message for women.
That's actually what it's called. "Twilight: Its Deep and Powerful Message for Women."
It's written in that weird Twilighty font, too. On a black background, with a moon in the sky.

Angela
o.O

Aaron
They also have a class named "Sports: What You Need to Know About It So You Can Keep Hating It."

Angela
XDDD

Aaron
There's a class on "The Look: How to Perfect It."
By the time you're done with it, your scornful gaze will be powerful enough to fry eggs on a slab of cold concrete.

Angela
that sounds cool
I wanna fry eggs WITH MY EYES!

Aaron
However, there's another class titled "Cooking: Man's Tool to Demean Women."

Angela
What kind of class would be for lesbians?

Aaron
"Why You Don't Need A Man to Complete You... But You Definitely Need a Woman."

Angela
xDDD